Monday, February 19, 2007 @2:37 AM
Among the people I know in school, there're many who could give me a run for my money in terms of HP knowledge. But after a veeeery interesting new year dinner at my cousin's house, I found myself to be a real EXPERT in the field (only in my family, that is). Yesyes, I have to mind the ego. XD
Well, see, Chamber of Secrets was showing on TV that night, as some people would know, and we all decided to watch it, although we only realized it was showing when the show was near its end. It was at the part where Harry enters the chamber of secrets, where he meets Tom and heroically *coughcough* rescues Ginny (I say leave her there to die).
I include extracts from the conversation for everyone's reading pleasure:
Cousin A: (seeing Tom) Hey! That one look like the guy who was dancing with Hermione in the fourth movie!
Riddle looks like Krum?!? Nononononono. They're like how different?!?
Me: NO, of course not! They look completely different!
Cousin A: Are you
suuuuuuuuure or not?
Me: OF COURSE LAH! (omg, Riddle looks like Krum - can you bear that thought? I mean, nothing against Krum, but Riddle's obviously better)
Eventually, I gathered that it was CEDRIC DIGGORY she was referring to, as "the guy who was dancing with Hermione in the fourth movie".
Me: NO, it was Cho Chang whom Cedric was dancing with, not Hermione.
Cousin A: Who's Cho Chang?
Me:
Nevermind.Ok, fine, Cedric looks like Tom in the sense that they're both kind of handsome.
And yet another more amusing one...
This was the part where Fawkes flies to Harry and cries on his wound, thus healing it.
Cousin B: Oh look! The pigeon's tears are washing away the blood!
Me: *splutters and almost spits out drink* PIGEON?!? NO, IT'S A
PHOENIX! And it's not just washing away the blood, it's healing the wound! Phoenix tears have miraculous healing properties!
Cousin C: Waaaaaah, professor of HP!
Me:
Whateverrrrrrrr. Anyone should know that Fawkes is a phoenix!
And the GRAND FINALE...
This part is when Harry, Ron and Professor Lockhart are standing in the toilet, wondering how to open the Chamber.
Cousin B: (pointing at Lockhart) Hey, that's Voldemort right?
O.M.G. LOCKHART ---
VOLDEMORT?!? OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG.
THAT. WAS. HILARIOUS.
Me: NOOOOOOOOOOOO! Oh my god! What gave you that idea! That's Professor Lockhart!
Cousin C: No lor! That's Voldemort! Don't talk rubbish!
Me: Do you have any idea how absolutely RIDICULOUS what you just said was?!? Oh man, wait till I tell my friends (who certainly know better) about this!
Cousin C: It IS Voldemort!
Me: WHATEVER. I shall not speak to ignorant people.
I mean, would Voldemort be standing meekly by Harry and Ron, going, "Please, boys, no, please...", be held at wandpoint by them, and subsequently get pushed down a long tunnel by them? Yesyesyes, very interesting deduction. Bunch of ignoramuses!
The only saving grace for them...
Cousin B: Hey, what school do they go to?
Me: Hogwarts.
Cousin B: What house is Harry in?
Me: Gryffindor.
Cousin B: What house is that bad guy in?
Me: If you mean Malfoy, Slytherin.
Cousin B: Oh, I prefer Slytherin.
Me: YES, ME TOO! (at last, something sensible from their lips)
Cousin B: The mascot, Malfoy, he's more handsome than Harry.
Me: MASCOT?!?
Ok, he deserves credit for saying Malfoy's more handsome than Harry, but "mascot"?!? Oh well. Sigh.
More interesting things:
1. Cousin B was under the impression that Dumbledore died in the fourth book. And when I was all, "NO, it's the
sixth book!", he wouldn't hear any of it.
2. After a very exasperating time dealing with HP ignoramuses (who were
veeeeeeery skeptical of what I had corrected them), I shamelessly declared, "Listen, NO ONE can beat me in terms of HP knowledge ok!". Not my fault ok! They were all going, "Are you
suuuuuuure or not?" to perfectly certain facts like Lockhart does not = Voldemort. Cousin D then goes, "No,
I can!" Right. She doesn't even know what Malfoy's first name is?
How can she beat me!
At the end of the gathering, everyone had labelled me "HP professor". I declare myself PRO. Yes indeed.